I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
