apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
