there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
