why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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