I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
