I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
