if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
