I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
