The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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