he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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