i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
