I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
