He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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