I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
