I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
