At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
