I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
