I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
