her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
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