just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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