we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
