I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
