I feel like abortions should bother me more
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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