How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
4 words: hood of his car
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
