did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
