well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
