"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
