Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
