hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
