More tranny stories later!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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