He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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