i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
