It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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