i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
