Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
