so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
