The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i think my cat just said my name.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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