I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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