You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
