Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
