Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
