I should be sponsored by Trojan
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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