11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
please come you make the beer taste better
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
