Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
