it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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