saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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