Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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