hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
