The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
