Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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