If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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