nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
