you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
